The
Pants Ashes
Once or twice a year in Oxford the most momentous cricketing event takes place. Two teams of supreme athletes gather to do mighty battle on the historic cricket pitch that is Cowley Marsh. At stake is the honour of holding one of the most coveted trophies in the British sporting calendar - The Pants Ashes. The trophy has been contested for a number of years now, whether there was a trophy or not to contest.
The Pants Ashes originated as a sporting contest without a name. Realising that wearing a poncho was impractical for cricket, the two captains, Frenchy and Gill, got together and organised the purchase of the magnificent trophy seen above. The actual 'Ashes' were obtained by each captain burning half of a pair of underpants in a tin in the car park outside the cricket pitch before one of the momentous games a few years ago. It is not recorded if the pants themselves were coated in any sort of toxic substance designed to make them burn more quickly. Suffice it to say that burning was probably the best thing to do with them.
Since then the fate of the trophy has rested on the sporting prowess of two dedicated groups of supremely trained athletes. The contest is made even more entertaining to spectators by the occasional presence in the teams of one or two people who are actually familiar with the rules of the game. Some of the less well understood rules of the game are dispensed with by agreement of all concerned, such as 'six and out', 'one hand one bounce' and 'LBW'. However, many of the more popular customs that form part of our national game are enshrined in the spirit in which Ashes matches are played. Sledging is mandatory, and drinking, eating and smoking on the field of play are actively encouraged although batsmen who combine their lunch box with their cricket box are frowned upon. Especially by their team mates who have to wear the box later.
Above is a pair of pants similar to those that might have been burned by one or both of the two captains. Except cleaner. And not burnt.